‘Jack and the beanstalk’: Poem by Ruhin Kaushal, Apeejay School, Saket

Jack’s mother said, “We’re stony broke!
Go out and find some wealthy bloke
Who’ll buy our cow. Just say she’s sound
And worth at least a hundred pound
But don’t you dare to let him know
That she’s as old as billy-o!”
So, Jack led the old brown cow away,
And came back later in the day,
And said, “Oh dear mom 
Guess what your clever little boy has got.”

“I really don’t know how
I got a super trade-in for our cow”
The mother said, “You little creep
I bet you sold her much too cheap!”
So when Jack produced one bean
His startled mother, turning green
Leaped high up in the air and cried,
“I’m absolutely dumbed!

You crazy boy! you really mean
You sold our Daisy for a bean?”
She snatched the bean and she raged

but

At 10 p.m. or there about
The little bean began to sprout
By morning it had grown so tall
You couldn’t see the top at all
Young Jack cried, “Mum, admit it now!
‘It’s better than an  old cow!”
The mother said,

“Where are the beans that I can pick?
‘There’s not one bean! It’s bare as wood!”
“No no!” cried Jack, “You look up there!
Look very high and you’ll behold
Each single leaf is solid gold!”
My god, the boy was right!
Now, glistening in the morning light
The mother actually perceives
A mass of lovely golden leaves!
She yells out loud, “My sainted souls!
I’ll sell the Mini, buy a Rolls!
Don’t stand and gape, you little boy!
Get up there quick and grab the lot!”

Jack was nimble, Jack was keen.
He scrambled up the mighty bean
Up- up he went without a stop
But just as he was near the top
A ghastly frightening thing occurred
Not far above his head he heard
A big deep voice, a rumbling thing
That made even the very heavens ring

It shouted loud

“SNIFF, SNIFF, I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISHMAN!”
Jack was frightened, Jack was quick
And down he climbed in half a tick

“Oh mum!”. he gasped, “Believe you me
There’s something nasty up on our tree!
I saw him, mum! My gizzard froze!
A giant with a clever nose!”

His mother hissed

“You must be going round the twist!”

“He smelled me out, I swear it, mum!
He said he smelled an Englishman!”
The mother said, “And well he might!
I’ve told you every single night
To take a bath because you smell,
But would you do it? Would you hell!
You even make your mother shrink
Because of your smelly stink!”

Jack answered, ‘Well, if you’re so clean
Why don’t you climb the crazy bean”
The mother cried, “By god, I will!
There’s life within the old sheep still!”
She hitched her skirts above her knee
And disappeared right up the tree
Now would the giant smell his mum?
Jack listened for the sniff sniff
He gazed aloft. He wondered
when the dreaded words would come
And then … from somewhere
High above the ground

There came a frightful crunching sound

He heard the Giant mutter twice
“Gosh, that tasted very nice”
Although’ in his grumpy tones
“I wish there weren’t so many bones”

“Oh Christopher!” Jack cried, “By god! 

The Giant’s eaten up my mom!
He smelled her out!
She’s in his belly!
I had a hunch that she was smelly”

Jack stood there gazing longingly
Upon the huge and golden tree.
He murmured softly
“Golly-gosh, I guess I’ll have to wash
If I am going to climb this tree
Without the giant smelling me
In fact, a bath’s my only hope”
So, he rushed indoors and grabbed the soap
He scrubbed his body everywhere.
He even washed and rinsed his hair
He also brushed his teeth and even washed his toes
And went out smelling like a rose

Once more he climbed the mighty bean
The Giant sat there, gross, obscene
Muttering through his vicious teeth
While Jack sat tensely just a foot beneath
Muttering loud, “SNIFF SNIFF!
RIGHT NOW I CAN’T SMELL ANYONE”
Jack waited till the giant slept
Then out along the boughs he crept
And gathered so much gold
I swear he was in an instant a millionaire

“A bath,” he said, “does seem to pay
I’m going to have one every day!”

– Ruhin Kaushal

Class: 7-B

Apeejay School, Saket