Goodbye

By Jasmeen Kaur

 You left me in the dark, you sent a goodbye message and thought it was enough to end it all

Why couldn’t you see that it wasn’t your fault?

The time when you died, pills in your mouth and suffocating you alive

You must have thought, why do you deserve to have such a life?

Wish I could be there, I wish I had woke up early,

Maybe, I could have stopped you from ending your life

But it was too late till the time I woke up and saw those lines

“You are like a sister to me and I will miss you, I hope you’ll be all right”

You said your goodbye but I couldn’t even reply

I couldn’t stop you and the one who could at the time didn’t care even after knowing about your plan of suicide

I miss your face and I miss the time when we used to talk

When you were alive

I want to hear you play violin for one last time

The people around you were wrong, you did play it well

It was one of my favourite sound to listen to at that time

I wish you were here, I wish you were alive

I’ll always blame me for not being able to call you in time

If I could have done it, maybe you would’ve been alive

By now you would have been an adult, you would have shined

You could have done so much in life

Even if you couldn’t, it would still be all right

As long as I could look at your face and smile

I thought I would forget you with time but

Now I just look at the clouds and stars,

Whenever it rains I feel that maybe you are somewhere out there, somewhere far looking at me

So I look back at you with tears in my eyes and my lips forming a smile

Wherever you may be, I hope that you are happy

Maybe one day we’ll meet each other for one more time

Let it be when death knocks at my door or if there is an afterlife

I miss you

I hope you are fine

It’s been 4 years, I don’t think about you every day but I do sometimes

Then the guilt hits, and so do our memories of that time

I just want to feel what it felt like to be around you for one last time

I wish I could say it, but I don’t want to say goodbye.