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My journey to become a stronger version of myself

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By Mineet Kaur

We go to a doctor when we are unwell but hesitate to seek help from a therapist when faced with mental discomfort or pressure. Unfortunately, our society is not yet open about persons suffering from mental health issues. People tell us to take care while we are having physical injuries but when it is about depression, all of us seal our lips.

Anxiety, panic attacks are often called, “a lack of control” and those who experience depression are told, “Ohh, Why do you have to be sad, or feel lonely? Don’t think negatively.” Nobody knows what really goes into the other’s mind. Some may believe that it is because of increased use of mobile phones, active participation on social media platforms, and lack of sleep or even watching excessive sexual content.

But we need to realise that all these things are an escape in some or the other form. One often tries to escape from reality and from things that no one will ever know except the sufferer. Childhood trauma, past relationships, failure and downfalls, there can be a lot many reasons that can lead to self-doubt, suicidal thoughts etc.

As a 17-year-old, I want to tell everyone who is faced with mental health issues that you will get better.

I was in class 11 when I got my first panic attack. It felt unusual. My favourite person was the reason that I ended up crying. It took me seven months to accept the loss and be at peace with it. Sleepless nights, restless days, staying alone in a locked room, these were how my regular days looked like. More panic attacks were a part of my healing process. But, one thing that helped me move on was realising my own value and what I truly deserve.

After crying for so many months, waking up each morning with puffy eyes and a cheerless face, I realised why I am even doing this to myself.

To all those who have been or are going through the same experience, I would just ask you to not give up. Someday, you are going to meet yourself and realise that you have to move on for yourself. Everything may feel like a burden right now but trust me, it is going to be okay.

I don’t promise that you’ll always be happy, but you will gain the strength to fight for the future. Bottling up your emotions and feelings might not help, so look up and let it go. Avoid running away from thoughts that might trigger you. It is okay whatever you are feeling, and every emotion matters! It’s fine if you feel like crying at the smallest of things and love to laugh at serious moments. Feeling drained not wanting anything is fine too. But, seek help if you feel vulnerable. Life prepares us for our battles and victories and it is important to keep going!While going through panic attacks, I used to write every emotion I felt, whether it was good, bad or ugly. I gave myself time to heal and never pressured myself to get better. Ultimately, I knew that it is not a one day journey, it is a long walk for miles and miles till the day you live. 

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