Perils of a judgmental mindset

By Deeksha Prashar

“O God! what is she wearing?” “I won’t go with her. She’s not in my class.”

How many times do we judge someone for the way they walk, talk or by the kind of car they own?

It’s 2022  and unfortunately we are still judging people by the clothes they wear, the colour of their skin, their culture, their sexuality, and the list goes on.  There are so many people who are being bullied daily because they love to be themselves – in their natural form. Even though we may judge others with positive or non-harming intentions, what we fail to realise is that the judgments we make about others can destroy their mental health.

People start feeling isolated, misunderstood, demeaned and making them less likely to ask for the help they need. As human beings, we cultivate strong opinions but there comes a point when our opinionated self becomes judgmental and that is destructive for our own self-esteem.

Several research  studies mention that if you are critiquing others, you will also criticise yourself, unknowingly often, and even more harshly. And that’s why we spend a great deal of time and money tweaking our image to make it more fitting to others. All thanks to such a judgmental mindset of our society that the uniqueness in each one of us is getting destroyed and everyone is comfortable in following trends rather than setting them. 

Isn’t it ironic that from childhood we are told to be yourself, to be authentic, not to be afraid to be who you are and yet you are being judged. We really need to change this! We just can’t play the blame game here because we are the society. So let the change begin first at your level. Society exists only as a mental concept; in reality, there are only individuals.

If you really want to bring back authenticity, you should let go of all of the fears you have, including the fear of embarrassment; the only reason that embarrassment feels terrible is because you project your feelings onto other people and look for approval. Put on your blinders because everyone’s journey is different. No two individuals can have the same opinions or same lives.

Remind yourself that ultimately it’s your life and you don’t want to die with the regret of living a life lived as per others’ expectations, we can live fulfilling our own wishes. You are the one who should be happy and satisfied with how you live your life. So, you are the one who has got to decide what you want to do and what you want to be.