Father’s Day Special: ‘I miss you my superhero’

By Kartik Vasandi,
Student at Apeejay Stya University

Dear Papa,

It’s going to be 6 years since you left us. But in my subconscious mind I still think someday you will come back and I will hug you, which I never did when you were there with me. But the love you showered to me, I have not been this loved since you left.

You taught me many things in life – you taught me how to go through pain, how to be there for the family when they need you. Even if the world says, ‘I don’t care’, you taught me the real meaning of a ‘True Man’. I know you are not here to guide me, but anytime I am struggling to make decisions I think of you and I do what you would have done.

I was 17 when you passed away. After hearing the news of your demise I was not in my senses. Countless thoughts were going in my mind, but one thought that kept disturbing me was, “How will I live without you?”. I clearly remember everything about that day because from that day onwards I knew that I will have to manage things on my own. I still remember I used to cry at nights and pray to god that “Take me instead”.

You used to scold me. However, I always knew one thing that the scoldings were never to hurt me, but they were actually to teach me and guide me for what’s wrong and what’s right.

I was always scared of you but now I keep a picture of you in my wallet and whenever I feel scared at night, I keep that wallet under my pillow and I go to sleep instantly knowing that you will protect me. I regret that I never talked to you much when you were there. But I am sure you are always watching me from above and guiding me.

Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night, I look at a few pictures of yours stored in my phone, although I know you were never fond of getting clicked. I see those pictures and I cry, I feel sad and angry at the same time that you left us so early. I had planned so many things with you.

I never knew what you were going through all those years managing everything with a smile on your face until I faced all those situations. Now I realise how hard it is to be in your father’s shoes. You were my Superhero, and all my childhood I was delusional thinking that these fictional comic characters are superheroes.

Papa, I miss you every single day and the most when I talk to mummy on the phone. I can feel in her voice how much she misses you and honestly, I can’t even think what she’s going through, how she’s managing on her own because she was the closest to you. Both of you have given me immense strength to tackle any obstacle in life and I thank you for that.

I am so proud whenever someone says, “You are just like your father”. Because I know how it feels getting compared to someone like you with a heart of gold. I once read a quote which goes like, “You will know your mother’s importance when she is with you but father’s importance is known when he is gone.”

I want to write so many things but I’ll just stop here and let you know that life’s not been easy since you are gone, but I promise that I will not let you down and I will take care of everyone like you would have done.

I love you, Papa.
Your’s Kartik