Friendship 101: Techniques for establishing meaningful relationships

Making friends can be an enjoyable and fulfilling experience. However, some kids may find it tough to make friends. There are several reasons for this. A major factor may be that some children are naturally introverted or shy. This makes it challenging for them to initiate conversations or approach others. Social anxiety, a condition characterised by an intense fear of social interactions, can also contribute to difficulties in making friends especially when it comes to teenagers.

Bhavya Arora, IBDP Psychology Facilitator, and School Counselor at Apeejay School International, Panchsheel Park, stated that teenagers are in a transient state. “This is the age when children, instead of spending time with family or bonding with siblings, invest time with their friends. Children at this age confide more in friends, as they feel a stronger connection with them. With numerous hormonal and social changes in their lives, children prefer sharing thoughts with friends because they believe their friends resonate better with what they are thinking,” Arora said.

However, challenges arise when it comes to making friends. Friendship is intricate and multifaceted. “The struggle arises because kids at this age are discovering themselves; they are finding their own voice and constructing their identity. This is the period when identity formation takes place. They attempt to comprehend who they are and whether it aligns with the family values instilled in them. This is due to the greater exposure and external influences. Children might encounter conflicting value systems and question whether what they have been taught will hold true in the outside world,” Arora elucidated.

Limited exposure is no longer viable today. “Children come across different perspectives, views, and values, especially with advancements in technology. The Internet has made it possible to bring the world to your devices. This prompts a lot of questioning, and the process of self-discovery extends, as it is an ongoing journey. As we are still in the process of finding our identities, we are simultaneously attempting to determine whom we like, with whom we want to be friends, and whom we dislike. For some children, this can become a chore, making the task of making friends an uphill battle,” Arora said.

Friendship should be maintained

One of the most important aspects of keeping friends is to maintain friendship. “While there are some tips that children can follow to make friends, it is extremely important that they remain friends. Research shows that the happiest people are those who have the most meaningful connections and relationships. Hence, meaningful relationships are key. Also, it is not about how many friends we have but the quality,” Arora opined.

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One of the most important aspects of keeping friends is to maintain friendship. While there are some tips that children can follow to make friends, it is extremely important that they remain friends. Research shows that the happiest people are those who have the most meaningful connections and relationships. 

–Bhavya Arora, IBDP Psychology Facilitator and School Counselor at Apeejay School International, Panchsheel Park

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How can parents help?

Subhashree Dey, a mother of a six-year-old student at Apeejay School Saket says that while it is a little tough for toddlers to make friends at the beginning, parents can play a significant role that can push kids to make new friends.

“I use a simple and easy trick. I have memorised the names of a few of his classmates. When my son, Shivvanshu comes home, I make it a point to ask him how they are by taking their names and stressing on the fact that they are his friends. This helps my son to understand that he needs to have friends. If not them but someone else in his class,” Subhashree said.

She also added that it is important to have open communication with the child. “This will let the parents know what is happening in their lives and whether there is need for them to intervene in case the tiny tot is struggling to make friends,” Subhashree explained.

Strategies to help build new friendships

Be approachable: Create an open and friendly demeanor. Smile, maintain good eye contact, and display positive body language.

Take the initiative: Don’t wait for others to come to you. Be proactive in reaching out to potential friends.

Join clubs or groups: Find activities or organisations that align with your interests and join them. This allows you to meet people with similar passions, making it easier to connect and form friendships.

Show genuine interest: When conversing with others, be genuinely interested in getting to know them. Ask questions, actively listen, and show empathy.

Be yourself: Authenticity is crucial for building lasting friendships. Be true to yourself and let others see your genuine personality.

Be supportive and reliable: Friends value trust and reliability. Be there for your friends when they need you, offer support, and follow through on your commitments. Building trust and dependability strengthens friendships.

Foster shared experiences: Engage in activities or hobbies together. Shared experiences create bonds and provide opportunities for meaningful connections.

“Building friendships takes time and effort. Not every interaction will lead to a lifelong friendship, but by being open, genuine, and proactive, you increase your chances of forming meaningful connections with others,” Arora said in conclusion.