Practice saying no to ‘negative words’ for 24 hours

By Sajal Sharma

Everyone wants the best things for themselves, yet when you look at your words, you will realise how often you speak negatively about yourself and others. You want money, but you say, “I am poor.” You want happiness, but you say, “My life is stuck.”

You need to understand that your words have a powerful frequency behind them. They carry an energy that can alter your reality. If you are serious about changing your life, then take this challenge of not speaking anything negative for 24 hours. This will make you conscious about the world. When you’re naturally a glass-half-empty kind of person, hearing slogans like “Think positive!”can make you feel like you’re an occasional jogger being told to run a marathon tomorrow.

However, before you can implement positive strategies and reap their benefits of improved health, better relationships and more happiness, you first have to start by decreasing negativity. I have collected the best negativity reduction tips from psychologists, coaches and authors to help you identify your look-on-the-gray-side habits and begin to chip away at them. There’s a shiny bright side waiting for you!

There are 7 optimistic quotes to stop being negative:

Set reasonable goals

“A lot of people, who see the negative side of things also tend to put themselves down because they set huge, intimidating goals that are difficult to attain,” says Lavinia Lumezanu, a marketing executive and leadership trainer. So instead of saying, “I’m going to write a book this year!” Start with a goal of signing up for a writer’s class or completing three pages instead. The satisfaction in reaching these smaller goals will motivate you to reach the next one.

Turn “problems” into “challenges”

Words are very powerful, says Kristi Ling, author of Empower Your Day: Keys to Creating More Happiness, Energy and Success Through Positive Mornings.

“Try creating a list of negative words or phrases that you use often and replace them with ones that are a bit more positive. If you regularly complain of problems, for example, start referring to them as challenges instead. Eliminate the phrase, “I should…” from your self-talk, and replace it with, “I could choose to…,” says licensed mental health counselor Carol Patterson, a therapist in Vancouver, Wash.

“Should” carries obligation, dread and resentment. “Choose” puts you in the driver’s seat, as in “I could choose to do this laundry now so that I could relax tonight.” While it may seem like simple semantics, but these words you use every day in your self-talk can have a real effect in your attitude.

Reset your default answer

People who are naturally negative tend to use no as their first response to new ideas and experiences, says Lynette Louise, a neurofeedback therapist. “In part, they do this to buy time while actually making a decision, but then they end up defending the ‘no’ choice and sticking to it, even at times when they might not have.” Default

instead to “I’m not sure; give me a minute,” she suggests. Then try to find a good reason to say yes before you say no.

Display that award

“It can be important to have physical reminders of positivity in one’s environment,” says Frank Addonizio, Ph.D., Vice President of Global Clinical Counseling Services for Workplace Options, an employee work-life services company in Raleigh, N.C.

What works: anything that reminds you of past achievements (awards, published writing, a business card), satisfying relationships (photos, artwork by your kids) or positive personal attributes (maybe a gift or letter from an appreciative client or boss) that details some of your talents. It’s hard to get down on yourself in the face of real proof of your abilities.

Put your hands up

Historically, humans and other animals have expressed power through large, open postures. Think of a peacock fanning his tail or a negotiator standing and straightening up while her opponent sits. Powerlessness is conveyed through body language, too; think of frightened children curled in the fetal position, or a shy person with slouched shoulders and downcast eyes. Standing up tall and spreading your arms might make you look bigger and more powerful, but can it actually convey power?

Be a critical thinker, not a critical person

“I have a client who struggled with always seeing the negative in everything,” says Elaine Taylor-Klaus, a life coach. “We figured out her brain was just wired as a critical thinker. She approaches everything critically, and that can be a good thing. She just had to work on reminding herself that an opportunity for improvement is not a criticism. Something can be not the way she imagined it and not be wrong.”

Drop your distortions

There are negative things in the world. Some “sky-is-gray” people are skeptical of focusing on the positive in fear of being “delusional” and not seeing those very real negatives, says Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. But we all have cognitive thinking distortions that can alter our perceptions of reality, she says, perhaps causing the negatives to appear fun-house-mirror large.

Therefore, recognise what your distortions are, and see whether you can view circumstances through a clearer as well as more helpful lens.