8 tips to help kids cultivate social skills

Does your child spend a lot of time alone? Is your child not responding to what is happening around him/her? It could be that the child has problems in building healthy relationships and social skills. Several factors can contribute to why some kids may struggle to develop healthy relationships and social skills. Sometimes, children who don’t have enough opportunities to interact with their peers or engage in social activities may struggle to develop social skills.

But fret not. Encourage your child to understand and share the feelings of others. Help them recognise emotions and perspectives by discussing different situations and asking how they would feel or respond in those circumstances.

Building healthy relationships and social skills in kids is of paramount importance for their overall development and well-being. According to Prashansa Hans, PGT Psychology at Apeejay School in Sector 15, Faridabad, several kids struggle to build healthy relationships because they didn’t get the personal space needed to interact with others. 

“Kids develop social skills as they are growing. But sometimes, they are not motivated enough to initiate a conversation as toddlers. Kids learn from their environment. Therefore, it is important to create a space for children that will expose them to a situation that will force them to interact. Encourage your child to explore the neighbourhood,” Hans explained and added that teaching the child basic social skills and manners to interact with people around him/her can help develop healthy relationships later in life.

Social skills allow children to interact positively with others and effectively communicate their needs, wants, and feelings. Children with better social skills are likely to reap immediate benefits that extend far beyond social relationships like improved academic performance, reduced behavioural problems, and increased adjustment to new situations.

Being able to build relationships and interact comfortably with others is also important for the child’s emotional and mental well-being. Studies show that early social-emotional skills are related to later academic and professional success. However, being an introvert is different, points out Hans.

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If we find such a student, we try to find out what the issue is. We talk to the parents as well. As a psychologist, I use a few techniques that can help. It is important for the child to know that it is perfectly fine to ask for help if and when a problem arises or if he/she is stuck with a problem

–Prashansa Hans, PGT Psychology at Apeejay School in Sector 15, Faridabad

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Being an introvert is different from a lack of social skill

Hans is quick to point out that Introversion refers to a personality trait characterised by a preference for solitude or quiet environments. Being introverted does not necessarily mean lacking social skills; introverts can still have strong social skills and enjoy meaningful interactions, but they may prefer smaller social circles or more one-on-one interactions

“Lack of social skills refers to the inability or difficulty in effectively interacting and connecting with others. This can manifest as challenges in initiating or maintaining conversations, understanding social cues, expressing emotions appropriately, or building and maintaining relationships,” Hans explained and said that there are several signs that the child may exhibit that includes spending more time with himself/herself.

Second, not having friends. “The child doesn’t need to have many friends but he/she must have friends. Adolescence is all about sharing things with friends, not parents or teachers. Hence, lack of friends is a telltale sign to watch for,” Hans said.

Definition of healthy a relationship

A healthy relationship can be defined as a partnership characterised by mutual respect, trust, honesty, open communication, empathy, and support. “In a healthy relationship, both feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, emotions, and concerns without fear of judgment or rejection. A healthy relationship also involves active listening and open communication to help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts,” Hans said.

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She quickly points out that at Apeejay, teachers are always on the lookout if the child shows any signs that may constitute a situation where they may have to step in. “If we find such a student, we try to find out what the issue is. We talk to the parents as well. As a psychologist, I use a few techniques that can help. It is important for the child to know that it is perfectly fine to ask for help if and when a problem arises or if he/she is stuck with a problem,” Hans said.

Tips to help parents develop these skills in kids

Model positive behaviour: Children learn by observing, so be a role model for healthy relationships. Show respect, kindness, and effective communication in your interactions with others, including your child.

Active listening: Encourage them to pay attention to others, maintain eye contact, and respond appropriately. This skill helps in understanding and connecting with others.

Teach problem-solving: Teach them to express their feelings and needs while listening to others’ perspectives. Encourage brainstorming solutions and finding compromises.

Encourage teamwork and cooperation: Engage your child in activities that promote teamwork and cooperation, such as group projects or team sports.

Teach communication skills: Help your child develop effective communication skills, including clear and respectful expression of thoughts and emotions.

Practice social interactions: Create opportunities for your child to interact with others, such as playdates, social events, or extracurricular activities. Encourage them to initiate conversations, make friends, and practice social skills in different settings.

Encourage empathy towards diversity: Teach your child to appreciate and respect individual differences, including diverse cultures, backgrounds, and perspectives.

Teach emotional regulation: Teach them healthy coping strategies for stress, anger, and frustration, such as deep breathing, taking breaks, or talking about their feelings.