A journey of resilience, determination, and unwavering commitment

“I was fond of writing articles right from school days. I was a student of Hartley’s High School in Kolkata, and would regularly contribute pieces to the school magazine The Spark,” expressed Pawan Dhall, currently leading Varta Trust.

Born and raised in Kolkata, the passion for writing led him to embark on a journey of self-discovery and activism that would shape the landscape of queer rights and representation in India. From early experiences with activism and journalism to founding a pioneering queer-themed publication, Dhall’s journey is one of resilience, determination, and unwavering commitment.

In the mid-1980s, alongside a friend, they embarked on a creative endeavour that would lay the foundation for their future activism – publishing a ‘community newspaper’ during summer holidays. These early experiences fostered a sense of community and solidarity, igniting a passion for social change and activism that would define their future endeavors.

Throughout their higher secondary and college years, they continued to explore their identity and voice through writing and activism. From contributing to career development magazines to engaging in debates on contemporary social issues, they sought to challenge societal norms and advocate for change. Their journey was shaped by a deep commitment to social justice and a relentless pursuit of truth and equality.

As they grappled with questions of identity and belonging, they found inspiration in the stories of others who shared similar struggles. Through encounters with social workers, psychiatrists, and fellow activists, they began to embrace their identity as a gay individual, setting the stage for a lifetime of advocacy and activism.

In the early 1990s, armed with a newfound sense of purpose and determination, Dhall embarked on a career in journalism, using their platform to amplify the voices of marginalised communities and advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. From founding queer support forums to organising South Asia’s first rainbow pride walk, their contributions to the queer rights movement have left an indelible mark on India’s social and political landscape.

Earlier, in the 2000s, Dhall contributed to some of India’s earliest queer resource books and anthologies. However, in the 2010s and 2020s, combined with writing and editing for Varta, he also revived journalistic writing for publications like India Today, The Hindustan Times, The Against Nature Journal (published by Council, Paris) and Xtra* online magazine (published by Pink Triangle Press, Toronto). In 2019, the journalist curated and edited his first anthology Queer Potli: Memories, Imaginations and Re-Imaginations of Urban Queer Spaces in India, published by Queer Ink, Mumbai.

His line of passionate projects led him to win the SAJF grant in the very first round in 2017, which enabled him to write Out of Line and Offline: Queer Mobilisations in ’90s Eastern India. This was published by Seagull Books, Kolkata in 2020 and till date, it has been one of the most valuable personal and professional milestones for him.     

Read edited excerpts of his interview:                    

What inspired you to focus specifically on tracing the impact of the earliest years of queer activism in eastern India for your project?

Towards the end of the 2010s, significant policy and legal changes were taking place with regard to gender and sexuality issues. In mid-2017, when I started ideating for Out of Line and Offline, the Supreme Court’s NALSA verdict on transgender citizenship rights was already in place, and the Transgender Persons (Protection of Rights) Bill was being hotly debated between the government and civil society. There were also strong indications that Section 377, Indian Penal Code was headed for a final reading down by the apex court, in a reversal of its highly regressive judgement of 11.12.13 which had recriminalised queer people (after the Delhi High Court had first read down the outdated statute in 2009). The K. S. Puttaswamy judgement on the right to privacy as a fundamental right in August 2017 only confirmed this possibility. This was also the time that the Indian queer movements would be completing approximately 30 years since the emergence of the first of the queer support groups and journals in the late 1980s and early 1990s. So, this was just the time to look back and take stock of how we started nearly three decades ago and how far we had come in the queer movements in India. Since I had also been a part of the movements since the beginning, I felt I had a story (actually a huge bunch of stories) within me that was waiting to be told. Around this time, I had also become involved in systematic queer archiving, though I had been doing so informally for many years. The Counsel Club Archives maintained by Varta Trust are a treasure house of queer stories in the form of letters, greeting cards, photographs, journals, articles and papers, play scripts, visiting cards and much more. These were stories not just of isolation, loneliness, friendship, desire, love and aspirations for a happier life, they were also about how queer people had been surviving discrimination and violence, and how they had been organizing themselves in eastern India in the 1990s and early 2000s against all odds. Unfortunately, for many queer people and allies of the newer generations, these stories were from a pre-Internet era and were being lost over time as support groups closed down and the individuals involved passed away. I felt I had to write something that would not only record and honour at least a few of these stories for posterity, but also encourage the newer generations to look at and learn from the past as they moved forward on fighting for queer rights.     

How did the SAJF Grant of Rs 3 lakhs help you to execute your project? How did you plan to capture the life stories of gay/lesbian individuals from the early and mid-1990s in the region?

As mentioned earlier, I delved into the archives of some of the earliest queer support groups in India like Counsel Club to identify the stories (and the storytellers) – around a dozen of them. Interestingly, I was still in touch with some of these individuals, while I had lost touch with the others. I managed to trace and connect with them for in-depth interviews and photography sessions. Apart from individuals in and around Kolkata, I travelled to Karnataka, Kerala and Odisha to interview them in person. A phone call or a video call would not have done justice to the interviewees and the interview process. Since I too was part of the larger story (and not just an interested observer or dispassionate narrator), I had to place myself honestly in the process of narration. By this I mean that wherever possible I had to interview the individuals concerned face-to-face and be ready to hear their appreciation and criticism of the queer mobilizations that I was also part of in the 1990s, not let their comments affect my judgement, and report on their views truthfully even while presenting my side of the story. This was a challenge full of nostalgia and emotions, and required considerable introspection and reflection on how I and my colleagues in Counsel Club and other support groups functioned. Another challenge was that I had never met some of the individuals who feature in the book and probably never will. I had to rely entirely on archival research and literature review to present their story as accurately as possible.

How did you envision your project contributing to a greater understanding of queer activism and community mobilisation efforts in eastern India during the 1990s?

In addition to what I have already mentioned above, Out of LIne and Offline has generated a lot of interest among queer community members, activists, researchers and educational institutions. It has become reference material in around half a dozen institutions, including Jadavpur University, Kolkata; Jindal Global Law School, Sonepat (where I have been a guest lecturer for the Gender and Society course twice in relation to the book), and St. Xavier’s College (Autonomous), Kolkata. Apart from online sales, it sells very well every year at the book fairs in Kolkata and Chennai, and during literature festivals, pop-ups and community events. These are the best and direct routes for me to reach out to potential readers and interact with them as well. The book was launched at the inaugural ‘Rainbow Lit Fest’ in Delhi in December 2019. Since then, I have been invited to speak about the book at the ‘Apeejay Kolkata Literary Festival’ in 2020; ‘Writers’ Shorts’ section of the ‘Jaipur Literature Festival 2022’; ‘Arunachal Lit Fest’ in 2022; and the Sahitya Akademi’s ‘Festival of Letters’ in Delhi in 2023. I have also been interviewed for a podcast series on queer archiving (Talking Queer: Archive, Activism, Creative Disruptions) published by the GALA Queer Archive, Johannesburg, South Africa, a pioneer in such archiving globally.

Your words of wisdom for budding journalists

Never compromise on the basics of good journalism. Thorough homework before you interview someone or as you write a story – there are far more sources of information today than in the pre-Internet era but it always helps to develop your own archive of books, articles, media clippings, audiovisual material and contacts over the years. Give all parties an opportunity to present their side of the story, but don’t hesitate to take a stand when you see injustice – objectivity and taking a stand are not mutually exclusive.