What 3 things went well for you today?

We often tend to focus on what is not going right, despite a lot of things that have gone well on a particular day. What if there was a system that trained your mind to focus on things that went well? The “Three Good Things” principle does just that.

Introducing Positive Psychology

Martin Seligman, known as the pioneer of Positive Psychology, defined it as “the study of positive emotions and the strengths that enable individuals and communities to thrive” through his bestselling work Authentic Happiness. In his second book Flourish, he based wellbeing on five elements or ‘PERMA’ — Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment.

According to Seligman and his unique scientific method to explore happiness, happiness is built on three pillars — the Pleasant Life, the Good Life, and the Meaningful Life. It strongly recommends cultivating the qualities of optimism and gratitude, which together contribute to making one less stressed, and happier and even give a boost to the immune system. Seligman perceives optimists as those who approach “bad news” or a challenge with a sense of confidence, viewing these as temporary and manageable setbacks, not sweeping in their scope.

Understanding the “Negativity Bias”

Humans are hardwired to lean towards negativity, which has its roots in evolutionary survival instincts, which taught us to look out for red flags and avoid potentially dangerous situations. In the modern world, this translates into a negative bias, where we tend to hold on to criticism and unfavourable outcomes, as we build a cautionary tale in our heads while allowing the positives to fall by the wayside. Simply put, we tend to recall negative events (sometimes mentally replaying them incessantly) and discount positive ones. The Three Good Things practice pushes us to record the good stuff as well, till it becomes a habit, if we’re lucky!

Three Good Things

The good news is, that optimism is a skill that can be cultivated. The Three Good Things exercise or simply, counting your blessings as a regular practice, is a popular positive psychology intervention. In a 2005 study, conducted by Seligman and team, participants were asked to keep a daily record of three positive events for a week. The results reported a positive and significant impact on a sense of well-being.

In another study, that mentioned Authentic Happiness, depressed participants were asked to note down three good things daily for 15 days. Reportedly, the well-being activity supported 94 per cent to go from severely depressed to moderately depressed during this period.

How does it work?

The exercise itself is uncomplicated and calls for listing any three things that went well on a particular day and then reflecting on what makes them “good things”. Besides inculcating a spirit of gratitude, it may help you spark joy in a day, that till then you felt was going all wrong or getting you down. It’s a great habit to practise for yourself and recommend to others. Before you know it, you may even notice a good thing as it unfolds during a day, teaching one to appreciate the small joys in life. It could be reaching work on time, someone paying you a compliment, watching a flower in bloom, finding bliss in a hot cup of tea, or enjoying a conversation with a friend. With a child, this can teach them early on that there’s something good to be found every day, despite any setbacks.

The activity (you can do this at bedtime):

1. Recall three good things that happened during the day.

It can be something small, like enjoying your favourite snack, or big, such as getting the keys to a new car.

2. Write these down.

Writing makes you also acknowledge these events and creates a record that you can keep going back to, for a repeated sense of wellbeing and happiness.

3. Reflect on why they brought you joy.

What was it about these that made you happy? How did it make you feel? Sometimes, it’s the unexpected element or a sense of accomplishment from a task.

You can do this for a week, a month, or keep coming back to it. Over time, it can inculcate the habit of appreciating the small things in life and encourage an all-pervading sense of gratitude. Try it out!