Combat bullying: Professor reveals 6 ‘R’s to put an end to it

We have all heard of bullying – be it at school/college and or at the workplace. But a lot of us may not recognise the signs or the fact that we are being bullied. But before we can spot the signs, we must know what the term means? It refers to repetitive and intentional aggressive behaviour that is directed towards another person or group who have difficulty defending themselves. It typically involves a power imbalance, with the bully exerting power over the victim. Bullying can occur in various forms, including physical, verbal, relational, or cyberbullying.

Why does bullying happen? There are many causes, including psychological causes, says Professor (Dr) Vimala Veeraraghavan, Emeritus Professor Psychology & Education, Apeejay Stya University.

“A person who bullies another considers that ‘another’ person a threat to himself/herself, because that person possesses unique special traits that may make the ‘other’ person more popular. The bully is scared that he will lose his/her reputation, status or power, which he/she enjoys. So he/she decides to remove that ‘other’ person by bullying. Remember that ‘other’ person may not at all be a threat but just perceived so by the bully,” Professor Vimala explained.

There is an adage: Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Power corrupts everyone, even the young.  When the person enjoys power by merit, it feels great. When the headship comes to an end the person feels the loss of it but this is normal, Professor Vimala said.

“But there are people who enjoy this power not by merit, but due to their physical strength or economic affluence. Such persons will try to retain their power by bullying, by being assaultive or violent and can harm others easily. They may use money power and get the support of others to be popular,” Professor Vimala said.

The fear of being harmed makes some people to bully others to remain in power. Usually it is the good people who get bullied because they are academically bright, may be popular, and liked by others because of their good nature. The desire for power by the bully and retaining it become an obsession; this ends up in bullying so that no other person comes to power.

“Revenge is a major reason for bullying. In some cases, bullies target innocent kids or other children because the bully was a victim of abuse or violence in the past. This could be motivated by revenge or an attempt to take back the power that was once stolen from them. Another important psychological factor is sadism.  Some are sadistic and some are masochistic.  Unresolved trauma can no longer be contained and begins to manifest in ugly ways. Bullying others is one of many horrific ways in which unresolved trauma can manifest,” Professor Vimala said.

The key to working with bullies is to make them learn how to empathise. Make them experience what it might be like to be in another person’s shoes. One way this is often accomplished is by encouraging service projects or volunteer hours. Individual counselling may also be recommended

–Professor (Dr) Vimala Veeraraghavan, Emeritus Professor Psychology & Education,
Apeejay Stya University

“The key to working with bullies is to make them learn how to empathise. Make them experience what it might be like to be in another person’s shoes. One way this is often accomplished is by encouraging service projects or volunteer hours. Individual counselling may also be recommended if required,” Professor Vimala said.

While recognising bullying can sometimes be challenging since it may not always be obvious, however, here are some signs that can help identify if someone is being bullied:

1.       If a person suddenly becomes withdrawn, anxious, or exhibits a change in mood or demeanor, it could be an indication of bullying.

2.       Unexplained injuries, bruises, or scratches might be signs of physical bullying. Other physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or changes in eating and sleeping patterns can also be red flags.

3.       Victims of bullying often feel excluded or intentionally left out by their peers. They may struggle to make friends or maintain social connections.

4.       Bullying can have a negative impact on a person’s ability to focus and perform well academically.

5.       Bullying sometimes involves the theft, hiding, or damaging of personal belongings. If someone frequently loses or comes home without their belongings, it could be a sign of bullying.

6.       Look for signs of emotional distress like increased tearfulness, irritability, fearfulness, or signs of depression or anxiety.

7.       With the rise of cyberbullying, changes in online behaviour can indicate bullying. This may include sudden avoidance of social media, reluctance to use electronic devices, or signs of distress after using the internet or social networking platforms.