Allow kids to ‘FAIL’

As parents and teachers, we all want our kids to succeed. It’s only natural. But here’s a thought: what if we shifted our perspective on failure, which feels like the end of the world sometimes, and saw it as something good, even necessary for learning? Failure may just be the crucial step our kids need on their path to learning and growth.

Failure isn’t the end; it’s a catalyst for brain growth. A study by the University of Southern California found that our brains learn in two ways after failure. Avoidance learning teaches us to dodge mistakes, seen as negative. On the flip side, reward-based learning occurs when our brains benefit from errors, turning them into reinforcing experiences. Embracing failure leads to positive growth, providing opportunities to learn and adapt. The brain’s malleability allows continual change and learning throughout life.

So, prepare for success by understanding that failure is a stepping stone, not a roadblock – as the saying goes, “failure to prepare is preparing to fail.” Here are some ways to do this with your child:

“Failing forward” as a life skill

“Failing forward” isn’t just a catchy phrase; it’s a philosophy that can transform how we teach kids about failure. Instead of seeing failure as a dead end, we see it as a launchpad for growth. It’s about flipping the script on setbacks and turning them into stepping stones toward success. When kids understand this concept, failure becomes less scary and more like a friendly guide on their journey.

Think about learning to ride a bike. How many times did you fall before you finally got the hang of it? Each fall was a lesson learned, a step closer to mastering the skill. That’s failing forward in action.

Celebrate stumbles

Let’s turn those moments of failure into valuable lessons. When a child stumbles, it’s an opportunity for parents to step in and teach acceptance and problem-solving skills. Together, you and your child can brainstorm ways to improve for next time. Maybe they need to switch up their study habits or have a chat with the teacher before the next test.

Ever heard of the acronym FAIL? It stands for First Attempt In Learning. When kids grasp this concept, failure morphs from a dreaded monster to a friendly guide on the journey to success. Imagine the shift in mindset! Suddenly, failure isn’t something to avoid at all costs; it’s something to embrace and appreciate. So, let’s raise a glass to failure — it’s not the end of the road, but rather the first step toward something greater. With this perspective, every stumble becomes a stepping stone on the path to achievement.

Empower kids with a growth mindset

Let’s face it, failure happens — it’s just part of life’s package deal. However, kids equipped with a growth mindset approach failure differently. Instead of dwelling on the setback itself, they channel their energy into understanding what went wrong and how they could set things right. It’s like turning lemons into lemonade. These kids don’t see failure as the end of the road; rather, they view it as a pit stop for valuable lessons. So, next time your child stumbles, encourage them to don their growth mindset glasses and see failure not as a dead-end, but as a detour towards success. It’s all about the perspective — and with a growth mindset, even failure becomes a stepping stone to greater heights.

Respond with empathy

When your child faces a setback, responding with empathy and sharing your own life lessons can be incredibly impactful. Instead of getting frustrated or upset, try to put yourself in their shoes and understand what they’re going through. Let them know that setbacks happen to everyone, and it’s okay to feel disappointed or frustrated.

Sharing your own experiences of setbacks and how you navigated through them can show your child that they’re not alone in facing challenges. It also demonstrates that setbacks are a normal part of life and can provide valuable opportunities for growth and learning.

By reacting with empathy and openness, you create a safe space for your child to express their feelings and learn from the experience. Remember, your support and understanding can make a world of difference in helping your child bounce back stronger from setbacks.

Teaching kids the value of failure isn’t about celebrating mistakes; it’s about celebrating resilience, perseverance, and the courage to try again. It’s about showing them that failure isn’t the end of the road — it’s just a detour to something even better. So let’s encourage our kids to fail forward because, in the end, it’s not about how many times they fall, but how they rise each time.