Health
5 ways to combat anxiety in children
A child psychologist says that children can experience anxiety differently than adults and a bit of anxiety is quite normal
Like adults, children experience a full range of emotions, all the way from sadness to happiness to worries. However, it can be quite difficult for children to manage difficult emotions like worries or anxiety without proper knowledge and awareness.
But what is anxiety?
According to Hemanti Mangal, Child Psychologist, and Director of Healing Nest Foundation, anxiety is intense worry or fear about something. It can be about: The future (generalised anxiety), a particular object (phobia), being in social situations (social anxiety), or being separated from caregivers (separation anxiety).
“Children can experience anxiety differently than adults. It may involve avoidance (refusing to go to school), physical symptoms (stomach ache, headache, and gastric issues), clinginess with caregivers (not wanting to be alone without parents), frequent expression of anger, irritability, or crying, and issues in sleep (difficulty falling asleep, nightmares),” Mangal said, who is also an alumna of Apeejay School, Saket.
“Research suggests that we require some level of nervousness to feel the motivation to do various tasks. However, it becomes a problem when the symptoms of anxiety go unnoticed for a long time and can get in the way of the child’s emotional well-being”
–Hemanti Mangal, Child Psychologist, and Director of Healing Nest Foundation & Alumna of Apeejay School, Saket
In adolescents, the symptoms of anxiety can be a little different, as they have more vocabulary to express their emotions, she said. “They may experience anxiety in the form of restlessness and irritability, feeling self-conscious (asking repeatedly if they look good), constant reassurance (if they have done a task well), sensitivity to criticism (lashing out if someone points out a mistake in their work), trouble with schoolwork (losing concentration in class, unable to recall concepts that are taught), avoidance of situations ( refusing to go to a party or for shopping), and physical symptoms (shortness of breath, feeling dizzy or shaky, sweating),” Mangal explained.
Is anxiety bad?
A bit of anxiety is quite normal. “Even research suggests that we require some level of nervousness (called stress) to feel the motivation for various tasks. However, it becomes a problem when the symptoms of anxiety go unnoticed for a long time. Anxiety can get in the way of the child’s emotional well-being. Thankfully, with the collaborative effort of teachers, parents, and counselors, children can be taught the different features of anxiety which can help them to regulate their emotions and calm themselves when they feel anxious,” Mangal said and shared the following ways to combat anxiety in children.
Befriending anxiety: Children and adolescents can be introduced to the concept of anxiety simply by explaining the features linked to it. It can be quite validating for the children to know that there is an explanation for the things that have been experiencing lately. Children and adolescents can be asked to give a name for all their anxiety symptoms, like “the worry cloud” or something silly like gadbad. (Let us name our anxiety Tinku).
Children can be told that Tinku can sometimes be helpful. However, at other times, Tinku can be a hindrance.
Understanding triggers: Children and adolescents can be asked to observe when their anxiety (Tinku) acts up. Instances like – morning assembly in school, teacher pointing at them during class, and someone yelling – can often trigger anxiety. More exploration can always be done on what happens when Tinku acts up – what symptoms the child experiences during anxiety. Parents and teachers can also make a note of these triggers and symptoms of anxiety for the child.
Grounding techniques: Children and adolescents can be taught small ways in which they can quiet Tinku. They can try any of the following techniques: Wash their face with cold water; drink something hot or cold; eat a snack; take deep breaths; do the butterfly hug; take a short walk (going to the washroom, if in school premises), and notice various things in their environment for the five senses like seeing the light come through the window, hearing the fan spin loudly.
Rethinking: Children can be encouraged to question their thoughts of anxiety. The adult needs to validate the feelings of the child with words of affirmation and support. For younger children, if they are feeling overwhelmed, they can be asked the following questions: What face is Tinku (the anxiety) making? What is Tinku saying to you? And how big is the feeling? After some questions, we can invite the child to shake Tinku off by physically shaking their body to make Tinku get off them.
Gradual exposure: Children who feel anxious in specific situations like class, birthday parties, and parks may be gradually exposed to these situations. They can be oriented by explaining that ‘avoiding the situation will only give Tinku more power’. We can take away that power by becoming more and more comfortable with going out. It can start with five minutes of exposure, and slowly build up to the full length of the event.
What else can be done?
Apart from the above-mentioned steps, parents and teachers can help the child by:
- Encourage the child to reach out for help to a trusted adult in that situation (parent or teacher).
- Have a daily routine that is followed by the child usually
- Enforce sleep hygiene. Sleeping and waking at roughly the same time, having a dark room while sleeping, and no electronics 30 minutes before bed, and using the bed only for sleeping.
- Spend quality non-screen time with the child and do a joint activity, like painting, cleaning out a cupboard, decorating a room, learning how to use basic tools, and cooking a favourite meal.
- Prepare a grounding kit together. It can include items for various senses like pictures of happy moments, candy, textured objects like sandpaper or soft cloth, a fragrant lip balm, and or fidget toys.
“Anxiety can be quite unnerving for children, especially because they feel quite alone. It can be helpful for them to know that it is a common feeling and that it can go away. Validation and encouragement from adults can go a long way in combating anxiety in children,” Mangal said in conclusion.
