Emotional intelligence helps keep the mind sharp

In everyday language, the terms emotions, feelings, and moods are used rather interchangeably, though each of these terms differs in meaning. While emotions are a reaction to stimuli, feelings refer to our experiences as a result of the emotion. An emotion is generally intense but it is short-lived.

When we ignore our feelings, repress them, or control them, it does not disappear. It is just the opposite — it will return with greater intensity called the “boomerang effect’. It is therefore important for us to realise that when we experience an emotion, we should feel it, express it, and not repress it. When repressed, the emotion becomes toxic. Research has shown that emotional expression is critical to our physical health, mental health, and overall well-being.

However, it’s important to note that feeling every emotion doesn’t mean acting on them impulsively or dwelling on negative feelings. Emotional regulation and healthy coping strategies are essential to manage intense emotions effectively.

Experiencing a full spectrum of emotions helps build emotional resilience. When you allow yourself to feel and process both positive and negative emotions, you become better equipped to adapt to life’s challenges. Emotional resilience enables you to bounce back from setbacks and cope with stress more effectively.

Embracing your emotions fosters self-awareness. It allows you to gain insights into your thoughts, behaviours, and reactions. By understanding your emotional responses, you can make informed decisions, set goals, and make positive changes in your life.

According to Professor (Dr) Vimala Veeraraghavan, Emeritus Professor Psychology & Education, Apeejay Stya University, emotions are part of human nature. They are of great help to us. They help build relationships, resolve conflicts better, help us move fast over difficulties, provide us with timely information about what we are experiencing, and help us to know how to react. They make us think, and behave and also help us make decisions.

“All of us go through positive and negative experiences. It is healthy to have a positive outlook even when negative things happen to us. Instead of avoiding the emotions related to the negativity, handle the same in a healthy positive manner. While it is easier said than done, a few methods can help us,” Prof Veeraraghavan said.

First, identify the emotion, for instance, is it anger, jealousy, and or fear.  Once identified, label that emotion. Now face that emotion. If it is anger ask yourself why or what brought about that anger. When you objectively consider that emotion of anger, you will realise that it was a trivial issue and you need not have reacted so. This helps you accept your emotions.

Second, when angry or going through an emotion DON’T avoid it, or escape it. Allow it to pass.  After a while, you will find that you have accepted the emotion rather than avoiding or escaping it.  This helps you to relax.

“Another thing to remember and practice is to understand that emotions arise due to a stimulus.  For instance, failure may bring an emotion of shame or anger. Failure is natural in certain cases; so allow room for failure. And move ahead,” Prof Veeraraghavan advised.

How to use emotions to live a more fulfilling life

You have to ask yourself a question: Is fulfillment an emotion? Yes, to an extent — when you complete a task or fulfill a promise, you feel happy and satisfied. “However, emotional fulfillment varies from person to person. We need to find our path and create our happiness which will lead to emotional fulfillment. To let emotions lead to fulfillment and success, the person should be aware of the emotion and read it,” Prof Veeraraghavan said.

However, in cultures or societies where people are told that being “too emotional” is a bad thing, it can be difficult to express what you’re feeling.  Repressing emotions can also negatively affect your mental well-being, not to mention your relationships, communication skills, stress levels, and more.  Permitting yourself to feel — really feel — is an incredibly powerful thing. And it can help you get better at regulating and accepting your emotions. When you start to accept your emotions, you may just start to feel more at peace and in control,” Prof Veeraraghavan said in conclusion.