‘Social media implies presence but not connection’

Astha Ahluwalia is doing the much needed, eternally essential and mostly ignored task of making mental health accessible, affordable and available to all. The chief psychologist at her organisation Reboot Wellness, Astha, an alumna of Apeejay School, Panchsheel Park, is a practicing psychotherapist and mental health trainer, who is making her alma mater proud by the day with her efforts.

Catching the mental health expert for a fun and relevant conversation about the pressing concerns students face, she shares some doable steps everyone can take to maintain a healthy mental well-being.

In a society where medicine and engineering are the major professions, becoming a psychologist is a unique career choice. What inspired you?

Well, two things inspired me primarily. First reason was a book that I read in class 9, Tell me your dreams by Sidney Sheldon.

The book truly opened new vistas for my life. This was the first time I came across the concept of mental health, psychology and read many of the technical words related to the field. I felt an instant connection.

The second reason was that I found myself becoming extremely passionate towards understanding the human mind and behaviour. To me, it is like a puzzle till date and I like to solve it to understand why a certain person thinks and behaves in a certain way.

So what role did your school play in helping you discover this passion?

The best thing my school did was that it provided me with a space for self- expression. This made me very confident in making a choice for myself.

And then you went on to take humanities in class 11?

Interestingly, no! I had chosen commerce in my senior secondary years. That was in accordance with the social norms of that point of time. But even while I was studying commerce, I knew in my heart that I wanted to study psychology. And that was exactly what I did since my under-graduation.

Please debunk 3 most common taboos about mental health?

1 Only the crazy go for therapy– As a psychologist, I personally feel it is high time we break the taboo around going to therapy. The taboo still exists that only if one is crazy or has a mental illness, then one goes to therapy. And obviously, it is not so. Mental health works on a continuum and we keep shifting on that continuum. Therapy is a space that allows one to build perspective, gain insight and learn new skills to organise one’s thoughts and manage emotions.

2 Medications are addictive– Many still believe that psycho-pharmaceutical medication is very addictive. It is not so anymore, as the medicines now are very sophisticated thanks to the continuous advancement in science.

3- Therapy will solve all your problems. Therapy will give you a space to understand yourself and evaluate yourself and your problems in a different manner. It is you who will have to solve your problems.

Very well-articulated! Could you also explain why it is important for students to visit the school counsellor?

It is extremely important for students to have a therapeutic interaction. The current generation is going through an information overload. Their brains are over-stimulated thanks to the sensory bombardment due to modern technology. Such a situation can be overwhelming and very confusing at times.

The socio-political and digital environment can make one experience a lot of things which a young brain may not be able to comprehend. Hence it is essential to speak to someone in order to align your thoughts. Also, this will help in building emotional resilience.

If it were up to me, I would include two compulsory skills in every school’s curriculum: Emotional regulation and Psychological flexibility. Every human being needs to learn these vital skills.

Could you please explain these terms in more detail?

Certainly! Emotional regulation is our ability to manage and deal with all emotions that we experience, be they positive or negative.

A human feels an array of emotions from sadness to anger to jealous then joyous it is a wide and diverse spectrum. But one must understand and learn how to regulate all these emotions so that neither one avoids them nor becomes attached to them.

On the other hand Psychological flexibility is the ability to adapt to the environment or circumstances around in the healthiest way possible without getting entangled in negative thoughts and feelings.

Everyone, especially students, must learn these two essential ‘life skills’.

Students consume reels heavily on Instagram. Many students like and re-share reels on stoicism, aiming to become so mentally tough that nothing around them affects them. Is it healthy?

There is an unsaid pressure on a child on how s/he is supposed to be. Be it the concept of success or the expression of emotions, things are all defined so clearly. This is indeed unhealthy. Coming to the stoicism reels, firstly it is not possible since the brain will feel all emotions. And all emotions are allowed and supposed to be felt. We try to run away from uncomfortable and difficult emotions but it just isn’t possible. We have to accept them as a part of life and its reality. Not shutting down but learning how to deal with difficult emotions is a step towards progress.  

There is an alarming rise in cases of anxiety and depression in students. Your thoughts on it?

The lack of a general sense of safety and simplicity coupled with a volatile environment around are the major reasons for the same.

Some doable ways to reverse the damage can be:

1 Be a part of communities and spaces where people can talk and share their emotions.

2 Be very open to feeling uncomfortable. It is okay to not feel okay.

3 Restrict yourself from social media, applicable especially for children.

Is there a link between social media and mental health?

Indeed there is. Social media is a most recent phenomenon and like everything it too has its pros and cons. While certainly it brings awareness in a more global world and helps people stay in touch online but cons are more dangerous from a mental health ‘pov’

1 Social media implies presence but not an actual connection.

2 It over-stimulates the brain– Overstimulation is nothing but the bombardment of different things on our sensory organs. Our eyes and ears are constantly getting bombarded when we are looking at the screen. The processing time of the screen and our brain doesn’t match. Hence our attention spans are decreasing. We are not able to focus or be fully present in an environment. We are all constantly shifting and moving.

3 Instant gratification– There is a lot of importance of holding gratification. Instant gratification is making us cognitively impulsive and blunt in the long run.

 You’ve emphasised on the importance of a safe space but what if there is a sense of judgement accompanying it?

A space isn’t safe if there is judgement present. I would say: Find your tribe. There are all sorts of people and they will have differing opinions to us and they also may or may not like us and all this is fine.

We need people who can understand us for who we are. Now that can be a therapist, our parents, relatives, friends and so forth. But we need to find those people and be in such a space.

One is definitely relieved to know that. Most students complain about them over-thinking everything? Would you please shed some light on that?

One has to understand that there is an emotional connection to over-thinking. It comes from trying to protect ourselves. In the mind, one needs to feel safe and comfortable. So the mind over thinks to bring that safety and comfort level. However, overthinking in turn also leads to confusion.  

To help reverse overthinking, one only has to be more in the present moment. Being mindful is the flipside of overthinking. Practice mindfulness and be more present in what you are doing!

Finally, please tell us about your organisation and the incredible work you are doing in making mental health a service all can afford?

 We at Reboot Wellness are part of a mental health organisation that focuses on making mental health services available, accessible and affordable for all.

We offer one to one counselling services, train people on mental health and promote mental health advocacy. We conduct various workshops for students of psychology and early career practitioners.

We provide pro-bono therapy as well and have various support groups. Currently we are in the process of building a community that allows us to reach out to more and more people.