Mother’s Day Special: The Mothering Mother’s Life!

By Neha Vasudeva
Alumna of Apeejay Institute of Management & Engineering Technical Campus, Jalandhar  

There is only one beautiful mother on this earth, and every child has her!

As we celebrate Mother’s Day, let’s praise that enchanting soul through which she brings smiles on our faces whenever we’re sad, let’s adore the grace that she has despite of all her difficulties that she may face and let’s pay our special thanks to her for all that she does for her kids knowingly and unknowingly.

I would like to wish all the mothers reading this a “Happy Mother’s Day” from a mother.

My words below specially aim for the mothers as an audience as to that you are not alone in this journey however it does not limit to them only; it extends to fathers and kids (students) as to how they can be supporting their wives and mothers!

Mothers help us survive, and they help us thrive. They help us through our worst times and prepare us for our best times. Fathers do these things, too, but mothers somehow have an edge.

However, the main role that fathers play for mothers in this motherhood journey is supporting them with all that they have which includes most importantly emotional support and financial support. Which few are lucky to get but many still struggle for.

Who and what decides who is a good mother and who is underperforming. The society, which eventually comprises our close relatives (even our own parents) who decide whether one is underperforming or is a shining star. However, the criteria being set by them is way too old to judge today’s modern mom who is ready to handle everything that may come in her way while she is on her motherhood journey.

“Mothering within this norm requires a mother to have comprehensive knowledge of her child’s needs and desires, which are assumed to be best met when she is physically present and highly attentive.”

A normal day in modern mother’s life (who may be working) includes, waking up, taking care of the household before she leaves for the day, reaching office, wondering whole day about the kid while achieving the daily targets at work, going back home, taking care of the household and spending the quality time with the kid (with the leftover energy) so that he doesn’t feel neglected and also to eliminate her worst guilt. The “guilt thing” occurs particularly when a mother attempts to reconcile mothering, her child’s needs, her individual needs, her family’s needs, and the needs of her workplace.

But who gave birth to this guilt that we all are taking care of keeping our mental peace at stake?

The answer is the US!

If a woman continues to work after having children, regardless of full-time or part-time, she might be considered neither an ideal employee nor a committed mother. The main point is why isn’t she considered a double contributor to the society when she is employed along with raising a successful adult as compared to men.

Mothers are expected to selflessly downgrade their own needs to use their financial and time resources to secure the best possible growth for their children. The best response to a child’s needs is connected to her expertise and to the expert knowledge that she is expected to gather. For which the source is also the close relatives who will be judgmental when she performs. Mothers feel the need to be present and to sacrifice themselves to meet this normative expectation. Trust me girls, NO ONE can love your child the way you do, no matter what!

So ladies, buckle up your seat belt and go on this roller coaster of being a mother and self-oriented both at the same time. The only judge of your life is YOU. You should be confident that what you are doing today is in the long run beneficial for you and your family. And be an example for the upcoming generations- your daughter, your son, and other females in your family!

This is the only way to change this vicious circle of a woman’s life where she is considered as a “Good Mothering Mother” and not just a “Working Mother”.

Remember one can only pour from a filled cup. If you yourself are not happy and content in your life, how are you going to raise a strong and confident adult. Be an example, reset your limits, ask for help if available, outsource your tasks, discipline your child’s life, and rise high in life up to your full potential!

Be at a point in your life where you want to see your kids in the future!! Be the Hero of your own life too like you are for your kids!

Happy Mother’s Day Working Moms!