Whether you’re butting heads with a teammate over a project approach or facing off with a superior in a heated discussion, managing your response and emotions is key to resolving conflicts constructively. Here’s how to navigate those stormy waters with finesse.
Before delving into strategies for managing emotions, it’s crucial to understand the dynamics at play during conflicts. Emotions run high, stakes feel significant and communication can easily break down. Research by Daniel Goleman, a pioneer in emotional intelligence, highlights the impact of emotions on workplace dynamics. He suggests that emotions are contagious and can significantly influence others’ moods and behaviours.
Pause and Reflect
When emotions are running high during a conflict, it’s tempting to react impulsively. However, taking a moment to pause and reflect can make all the difference. Research published in the Journal of Organisational Behavior and Human Decision Processes suggests that pausing before responding allows individuals to engage in more thoughtful and less emotionally charged communication.
Practise deep breathing exercises or count to ten silently before responding. This brief pause can help you regain composure and respond more rationally.
Active Listening
Effective communication is essential for resolving conflicts. Active listening involves not only hearing the words being spoken but also understanding the underlying emotions and concerns. Studies in the International Journal of Conflict Management emphasise the importance of active listening in conflict resolution, as it fosters empathy and mutual understanding.
Practice paraphrasing and summarising your teammate or superior’s points to demonstrate that you’re actively listening. Reflect back their emotions and concerns to show empathy and validation.
Express Emotions Constructively
Suppressing emotions during a conflict can lead to pent-up frustration and resentment. However, expressing emotions in a constructive manner is key to resolving conflicts productively. Research by Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist, suggests that expressing emotions using “I” statements rather than accusatory “you” statements fosters healthier communication and conflict resolution.
Use phrases like “I feel frustrated when…” or “I’m concerned about…” to express your emotions without placing blame. This approach encourages open dialogue and problem-solving.
Seek Common Ground
During a conflict, it’s easy to focus on differences and disagreements. However, seeking common ground can help shift the conversation towards finding solutions rather than dwelling on the problem. Research by Dr. Robert Cialdini, an expert in persuasion and influence, suggests that emphasising shared goals and values creates a sense of unity and cooperation.
Identify areas of agreement or shared objectives with your teammate or superior. Emphasise these commonalities to foster collaboration and move towards resolution.
Know When to Seek Help
Despite our best efforts, some conflicts may escalate beyond our control. Knowing when to seek help from a mediator or HR professional is crucial in resolving conflicts effectively. Research in the Journal of Applied Psychology highlights the effectiveness of third-party interventions in resolving conflicts with teammates impartially.
If efforts to resolve the conflict independently prove futile, don’t hesitate to seek assistance from a neutral third party. They can provide perspective and facilitate constructive dialogue between parties.
Managing emotions during conflicts requires self-awareness, empathy and effective communication skills. Remember, conflicts are opportunities for growth and understanding when approached with the right mindset and tools.